Holiday Emotions

The holidays are SO full of ups and downs for me. My Mom worked her butt off during the holidays to decorate and bake and make Christmas time so magical; both for myself and my two younger sisters and later for her grandchildren. During the holiday season I will often mutter to myself, "I miss you Mom." or "Thanks Mom."

Yesterday I was thinking about Dad. He passed away 18 years ago on December 12th. He was gruff and tough but he loved his daughters VERY much! I remember going Christmas shopping for him. When we did holiday shopping, it was along Main Street, before malls took over towns and killed most downtown areas. One of the stops we three girls would make was the old Coast To Coast Hardware store. We would get shells for Dad's hunting rifle. Sometimes we would find other 'manly' presents for Dad there too.

This year has been especially painful because I lost my dog on Monday. Ziva was my walking partner and stood beside me, loyal and protective till the end. She was only five and I still hurt about the whole mess. She is in a better place now though and with time, I will heal too.

With all the ups and downs, I had a huge boost to the up side when a box arrived on the same day I had to put Ziva down. What timing! It was bitter sweet but it was such a wonderful box that I just have to share.

Quiltmaker's Blog had a drawing for a 100 Blocks Mug and special issue magazine. I didn't realize that it also came with a "Fat Quarter" pattern book for 12 quilts, an applique (which I LOVE) pattern for a Christmas quilt, a four pack of AMB neutral fat quarters and a nine pack of Timeless Treasures fat quarter fabrics!!! WOW what a surprise!

It didn't take away the pain, but it did bring a smile to my face. I will 'play' with it all this week as I use my studio for 'therapy' sessions.

It might seem crass that I talk about getting the prize in the same posting as the talk about the losses in life. It just goes to show that there are always ups and downs in life. I try to put positive spins on negative things. I don't want to wallow in pity. That gets me nowhere. Truth be told, our other two little rat terriers are thrilled to be able to play again or to be petted without worrying that the big dog was going to eat them alive for getting attention. We didn't realize the stress we were living under with Ziva, had gotten to be so acute. It is bitter and it is sweet. It was a good five years. RIP Ziva, say hi to Tucker, Nina, Rusty, and Brandy!